


bulletproof detectives

by marishka



Series: Thieves & Beggars [1]
Category: B.A.P, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Police, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:31:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2778305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marishka/pseuds/marishka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lead detectives Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi go over their favorite BAP criminal files, with a little help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bulletproof detectives

**Author's Note:**

> A little intro to my crime AU, where BAP do crime things (but for good reasons. usually. for the most part) and BTS are the cops looking to book them (but mostly agonize over not being able to catch up to them and pick on each other in their free time). As of right now, it's mostly focused on BAP with the occasional side of BTS (including this BTS-centric part), and I'll probably just be posting short scenes and snippets from this world rather than doing a full on chaptered story. Either way, here's your exposition.

“Honey Dae on holiday~” Hoseok hummed to himself, looking over the files spread across his desk, all connecting back to one Jung Daehyun, explosives expert extraordinaire and Hoseok’s longest running little obsession.

Though really, words like “obsession” were better suited to Namjoon or Yoongi’s behavior. Hoseok simply appreciated talent and style, and Daehyun had plenty of both when it came to blowing shit up.

“Are you daydreaming about your boyfriend again, hyung?”

Taehyung’s amused tone put a sour expression on Hoseok’s face, and the laugh that followed only soured it further.

“ _No_. I’m just wondering what he’s up to.” Hoseok replied with a sigh, resting his chin in one palm and sliding the files he’s been staring at around his desk, flicking at a corner here and there. “He hasn’t surfaced in  _months_ , he’s bound to be getting bored..”

“He’s getting bored, or _you’re_ getting bored?” Taehyung offered, oh-so-helpfully, earning himself another less than amused look which only further fueled his giggling. Honestly, this kid..

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, TaeTae. I’m an upstanding man of the law, I would never be bored by the lack of criminal activity, it isn't proper.” Hoseok finally replied, nodding to himself solemnly and managing to hold the expression for all of three seconds.

This time they both laughed, Hoseok’s grin lingering as he looked down at the files again, pulling his favorite suspect’s profile closer. Maybe if he stared at it just the right way, it would clue him into the kid’s whereabouts..

> NAME: Jung Daehyun
> 
> ALIAS: “Damchu” “Honey Dae”
> 
> DOB: 28.06.1984
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * _Jung Dojin_ — father, remarried, no contact with suspect since the divorce
>   * _Jung Haneul_ — mother, divorced, suspected to be in contact with suspect
>   * _Jung Hyeseong_ — younger sister, in mother’s custody
> 


Even though there had been an awe-inspiring grand total of _zero_ cases of activity on the mother and daughter's end in the past eight months, Hoseok was sure _something_ would come up  _eventually_. Probably. Daehyun was definitely keeping in contact with them. Somehow. They were just being very careful. Or maybe they were just very innocent... but probably not.

> CRIMINAL RECORD:
> 
>   * 21.09.1998 — fine issued for illegal use of fireworks (Case File #001834-3)
>   * 05.03.2000 — fine issued for destruction of property (Case File #011952-9)
>   * 11.07.2001 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 19.02.2002 — fine issued for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #005372-0)
>   * 03.08.2002 — fine & warning issued for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #005372-0)
>   * 07.10.2003 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 15.06.2005 — arrested & incarcerated (3 months) for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #039551-4)
>   * 10.01.2007 — fine & warning issued for destruction of property (Case File #008502-9)
>   * 30.04.2007 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 28.11.2007 — arrested for destruction of property (Case File #025870-2)
>   * 19.08.2009 — arrested & incarcerated (6 months) for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #044945-1)
>   * 06.07.2010 — fine issued for destruction of property (Case File #097749-8)
>   * 29.07.2010 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 13.09.2010 — fine & warning issued for destruction of property (Case File #072966-3)
>   * 20.11.2010 — arrested for destruction of property (Case File #058853-7)
>   * 27.12.2011 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 16.01.2012 — arrested & incarcerated (6 months) for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #092218-5)
>   * 21.08.2012 — arrested & incarcerated (9 months) for possession of unlicensed explosives (Case File #097387-2)
> 


Hoseok tapped his fingers near the bottom of the lengthy list, smiling to himself. He’d handled a couple of those warnings and arrests himself; they had quite the history. But still nothing new—although Daehyun had certainly been active.. they just hadn’t pinned him to any of it. Yet.

> NOTES: Shown extensive knowledge of explosives — makes his own, uses a variety of styles to suit his needs for different jobs (full list on page 5); has participated in grifting with Kim Himchan (Case File #038403-9, #014539-0, #002394-4,  #058299-1, #039171-0)

He was itching to add more notes, anything new, but Daehyun had been careful these past few years. Or at least his team was good at getting him out before he got caught. Or maybe it was that he was doing actual _jobs_ now, instead of just messing around for fun and loud explosions.

Whatever the case, Hoseok wanted something new already. Everyone had to slip up sometime, right? Right. Probably..

“Hoseok hyung?”

Stirring from his position face down on his desk, Hoseok tilted his head up toward Taehyung, who now stood patiently in front of him, a look of barely genuine sympathy on his face.

“If you’re not too busy agonizing over your boredom..”

“I’m not bored, I’m anticipating~”

“Yes, of course. If you’re not busy with _that_ , I finished up putting Yoo Youngjae’s file together like you wanted.” Taehyung announced with a lingering undertone of amusement—which Hoseok oh-so-kindly forgave the understudy, because he was such a wonderful and forgiving person. And because Taehyung always put extra sugar in his coffee for him.

Taking the file Taehyung held out to him and opening it up on top of the rest, Hoseok scanned through it.

> NAME: Yoo Youngjae
> 
> ALIAS: —
> 
> DOB: 24.01.1989
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * _Yoo Kyung_ — father, incarcerated for fraud and theft (Case File #007677-9)
>   * _Yoo Yunhee_ — mother, incarcerated for hacking into government files and stock systems (Case File #004386-0)
>   * _Yoo Youngwoo_ — older brother, no recent contact with suspect
> 

> 
> CRIMINAL RECORD: —

“Hell of a family history there..” Hoseok said with a hum. “No criminal record on the brother?”

“No, nothing. Seems a family of do-badders scared him straight. He wants Youngjae caught and locked up more than we do.. said he’s sure his little bro’s been messing with his 401K and bank accounts.”

“But he’s got no proof..”

“Right. I couldn’t find anything on this guy, not so much as a speeding ticket.”

“And yet he still ended up in that band of misfits, go figure.” Shaking his head, Hoseok skipped to the bottom of the file, Taehyung following along with him.

> NOTES: Suspected to be in charge of digital infiltration within the group (Case File #002945-6, #014539-0, #069924-2); assumed electronics expert

“I’ve got those three files for you here, if you wanna check.” Taehyung said, dumping said records onto the side of Hoseok’s desk without waiting for a response. “Can’t really prove he was involved, but.. I’m like ninety-five percent sure it was this Youngjae guy.”

“I don’t know if I want to trust your assumptions after the cookie incident, Tae..” Hoseok replied with a grin and a brief glance at the new stack. It’d be good to refresh his memory, but on the other hand, _work_..

“Okay, that was like _one time_ , hyung. And we’ve already established it was mostly Jungkook’s fault anyway.” Taehyung said on the way back to his own desk, giving a firm nod as he plopped into his seat.

Indulging in another laugh, Hoseok nodded along amiably while Taehyung grinned at him, grabbing a case file off the top of the stack and leaning back with it to read.

* * *

"You're going to burn holes into that file if you stare at it any harder, Namjoon."

Startling out of his thoughts at the familiar voice of the captain's head assistant, Namjoon sat upright and let the file in question drop onto his desk. A sheepish smile crept up over his mouth and he shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand.

"I can't help it." He finally said with an air of fitting helplessness, eyes wandering back down toward the file again before flicking up to Seokjin with what was almost a pout. An almost-pout that was almost-adorable, but Seokjin knew better than to think it was intentional, not when it came from Namjoon.

Instead of commenting on it, Seokjin set down a fresh cup of coffee in front of the other and leaned against the edge of the desk, scooping up the worn file—he was going to have to reprint and refile it soon at this rate, Namjoon needed to lay off manhandling it all the time—partially to skim it and partially to get it out of the other's reach for a few minutes. The same suspect profile stared back at him as usual.

> NAME: Bang Yongguk
> 
> ALIAS: “Bbang”
> 
> DOB: 31.03.1984
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * _Bang Junsang_  — father, veteran
>   * _Bang Yeseul_ — mother, deceased
>   * _Bang Yongnam_ — older brother, active duty
>   * _Bang Natasha_ — older sister, civilian
> 


"I know you wanna get the guy, Namjoon, but you've been over this file backwards and forwards ten times in the past  _week_. It's not going to tell you anything new."

"It _might_." Namjoon said with that same almost-pout, eyeing the pages over the edge of the coffee cup he'd snatched up to warm his hands and his insides on. "You never know." He added in a quieter mumble that belayed some of his own strain at believing his words.

"Oh, I know." Seokjin rolled his eyes, but a smile wasn't far behind. He couldn't really fault Namjoon for his dedication, after all. But that didn't mean he was just going to let the other constantly obsess when there was no new information to obsess over. "I know because it's the same as it was last week. And the week before that. And the week before  _that_. And the week before that.."

Namjoon made a half strangled noise and Seokjin stopped with a grin, satisfied that his point had been made. Not that it would help much; they both knew Namjoon would be right back to pouring over the same files in no time, this was just a momentary distraction, but it was better than nothing.

"There hasn't been anything new from him since he got out of his last jail stint, Namjoon." Seokjin's eyes jumped back to the file he still held to confirm—he didn't need to, he knew, because there hadn't been anything new added to the record in long enough that he practically had the damn thing memorized. But confirmation never hurt, and it helped his case against Namjoon's tendencies.

> CRIMINAL RECORD:
> 
>   * 10.07.2004 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 15.10.2008 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 13.05.2011 — arrested & incarcerated (1 year) for 2nd degree manslaughter (Case File #087729-0)
> 

> 
> NOTES: Ex-military — army service;  assumed leader of BAP; efficient gunman — result of military training

"Two  _years_  ago." Pleased to see the dates just as he'd remembered them, Seokjin returned his gaze to the other, who had sunk his tall frame far enough in his chair to look half his usual size. He was definitely sulking now.

"I _know_ , hyung. But I can't just let it go. I.. can't." There was no arguing that, they were both very familiar with the case and exactly why Namjoon was so set upon catching Bang Yongguk. He didn't even have to flip to the next page of the file to know the copy of another boy's profile was tucked in behind Yongguk's.

> NAME: Choi Junhong
> 
> ALIAS: “Zelo”
> 
> DOB: 15.10.1995
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * Both parents deceased, no records of other relatives.
> 

> 
> CRIMINAL RECORD: —
> 
> NOTES: Left care of Bell View Orphanage unofficially (Case File #069912-5) ; possibly BAP's knife specialist (Case File #093329-0, #093689-3)

Choi Junhong, the kid who Namjoon would fight to his end for, the kid who Bang Yongguk brought into his little gang, the kid who's kidnapping case Namjoon picked up from the orphanage he'd been at. Of course, it wasn't a kidnapping on record, simply a case of an orphan running out to make it on his own, but Namjoon had gotten attached, and hated knowing the boy was now neck deep in criminal activity because of his choice of company. He felt for the kid, too, but Namjoon took it personally.

Shutting the file with a sigh and setting it aside—still mostly out of Namjoon's reach—Seokjin waited for the detective to look up at him before giving him a smile.  "I'm gonna order us some late lunch, and you're going sit right there and not think about Bang Yongguk and his merry men for an hour or two. Deal?"

Naturally, Namjoon resisted, but it was mostly internal and fairly brief, before giving in with a nod and a smile to show his quiet appreciation of the other's care.

"Deal."

* * *

"Hyung? You knew Kim Himchan before he left his family, didn't you?"

Normally, had anyone else brought the matter up, Yoongi would've dismissed them with a little quick wit and a dry warning. But it was Jimin asking him now. Jimin with his rounded cheeks and curious eyes. Jimin who knew too damn well how to wiggle his way into the cracks of his hyungs' hearts and get away with anything. That included broaching subject matters that were preferably avoided, it seemed. And Yoongi had every intention of telling the kid to fuck off with that question, but then he made the mistake of looking up at him and all hope was lost.

Jimin was doing that cute innocent stare thing. With that little hopeful smile and the eager curiosity. And Yoongi's rough words died in his throat.

Damn this kid.

He sighed instead, scratching a hand through his hair slowly as he leaned back in his seat, work momentarily forgotten as his mind delved into the unsavory topic of Kim Himchan and all the trouble he brought.

"I was just going through his file and.." Jimin began explaining after a couple beats of silence between them, eyes dropping back to the page he'd been reading.

> NAME: Kim Himchan
> 
> ALIAS: —
> 
> DOB: 19.04.1988
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * _Kim Byunghun_  — father, deceased
>   * _Kim Sooyoung_  — mother, heiress
>   * _Kim Jiyeon_ — older sister
> 


"Kim Jiyeon.." His finger dragged under the last name on the list before Jimin looked up again. "That's your brother's wife, isn't it?"

The kid looked so curious—and dare he say,  _proud of himself_ —at having made the connection that Yoongi didn't have the heart to tell him off, like he'd still been trying to work up to doing since Jimin had started talking. Accepting his momentary defeat, Yoongi shut his eyes with another sigh, nodding.

"Yeah, that's her."

Jimin's response was a thoughtful hum, but soon enough he was speaking again. "So your families know each other? Or.. did, before Himchan left?"

"Something like that." It wasn't like they were best pals and neighbors, of course, just a simple matter of wealthy family familiarity. Go to enough charity dinners with the high ups and you start remembering the names that matter. And then came the weekend visits and business disguised as play dates. "Our parents did some business together. Still do, technically." Yoongi added when he got tired of feeling Jimin's expectant stare on him. "All boring shit, I can assure you."

Managing to get a laugh out of Jimin with that, Yoongi grinned to himself, settling back more comfortably with his hands folded behind his head while Jimin continued reading, curiosity seemingly sated for the moment.  In reality, Jimin was just processing the information, as he tended to do in these quiet moments, figuring out what his next question was going to be as he checked between two of the open files in front of him.

"So.. he stole from you. Himchan, I mean."

Yoongi knew exactly what Jimin was reading through, he'd gone over it himself enough times. Behind his once again shut eyes, Yoongi saw the short criminal history of one Kim Himchan scroll past, the bottom of the list marking his last act prior to leaving the household.

> CRIMINAL RECORD:
> 
>   * 13.10.2005 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 21.12.2006 — fine issued for destruction of property (Case File #011194-0)
>   * 03.05.2008 — detained for possession (Case File #093555-2)
>   * 14.08.2008 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 19.04.2009 — arrested for destruction of property (Case File #065992-1)
>   * 01.01.2010 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 17.09.2010 — fine issued for speeding
>   * 10.03.2011 — arrested for destruction of property (Case File #083504-1)
>   * 23.09.2011 — arrested for destruction of property (Case File #089874-7)
>   * 05.01.2012 — arrested for attempted fraud (Case File #043221-0)
> 


"Not from me, necessarily, but from both our families' companies, yes." Yoongi finally replied, words airy, but his tone tinged with the sort of annoyance he tended to dust off every now and then and really dig into. He wasn't  _mad_ , but he didn't exactly like it, either. It just didn't sit right with him. "He got practically everything handed to him all his life, and he still wanted to take more for himself.. a crook through and through."

Drowning the bitterness in his throat with a sip of whatever concoction Jimin had decided to leave on his desk today—the kid was downright obsessed with health drinks and smoothies, constantly coming in with an armful of something new he'd decided to try making, and one would always end up on his desk. They were usually better than coffee, though, so Yoongi wasn't complaining.

Jimin was humming thoughtfully again while he kept reading, and Yoongi didn't rush him, letting his thoughts swim around his too-personal history with Himchan. At least his sister hadn't caused any trouble, though she'd never been particularly fond of her little brother in the first place, so it wasn't like she was in line to follow in his footsteps. He supposed being the sole heiress of the family fortune helped keep her straight. As did having a detective for a brother-in-law.

"Guess he really didn't want to maintain the family business." Jimin said, mostly to himself, eventually looking up from what he'd been reading.  "Kind of like you, hyung. 'Cept you went the good way, instead."

He was smiling again, and even though Yoongi really, really wanted to be mad, he just couldn't bring himself to do it while Jimin was smiling at him like that. So he just nodded stiffly instead.

_Damn this kid_.

> NOTES: Ex-heir of the Kim family; extensive sniping experience — learned through childhood; head grifter of BAP (Case File #059901-3, #080266-9, #027111-5, #074939-0, #053025-1, #049302-6, #089681-2)

"Did you learn to snipe with him, by the way?" At least Jimin's attention didn't linger too much where Yoongi didn't want it to.

"Yeah. He made a hobby out of it, and my dad thought it was a great skill to add to my resume, so we had a couple lessons together." Jimin was nodding as he listened, jotting down notes, or so Yoongi assumed, along the way.

Several minutes of silence followed, and Yoongi had almost fooled himself into believing they were done with his conversation, before Jimin spoke up again, reading from another file this time. And Yoongi knew which one it was before Jimin even started.

> NAME: Moon Jongup
> 
> ALIAS: “Moon Pie” “MJ”
> 
> DOB: 06.02.1991
> 
> KNOWN FAMILY:
> 
>   * _Moon Jihyuk_  — father, deceased
>   * _Moon Younha_ — mother, deceased
>   * _Park Dongwoo_  — grandfather, veteran
>   * _Park Minjung_  — grandmother, army nurse
> 

> 
> CRIMINAL RECORD: —
> 
> NOTES: Received varied martial arts training and basic emergency medical treatment training (family background of medical knowledge and military training); ex-bodyguard to Kim household

"Did you kno—"

"Moon Jongup? Not personally, no." Yoongi allowed himself a victorious grin as Jimin blinked up at him in surprise and momentary awe before breaking into another wide grin. "Himchan spent more time with him than around me or my brother by the end of it. Jongup was being trained to join the household security team before the two of them disappeared. He seemed like a good kid, but we never spoke a word to each other."

This seemed to sate Jimin's curiosity for good—or at least for the next hour or two—as the boy settled back in his seat with a contemplative look before digging back into the files he was sorting through and working to update. Yoongi blessed whichever god granted him peace from the conversation, but his mind lingered on thoughts of Kim Himchan all the same. It seemed like too much of a stretch to think of the boy he'd distantly grown up with as being a killer, but a thief? That he had no trouble accepting.

* * *

_ [five months later] _

"They’ve hit another one.”

Hoseok groans and sprawls out dramatically in his chair, head tipping back and mouth hanging open for several seconds of what sounds like a poor impersonation of a dying whale, ending in a heavy sigh.

“Of course they have.. We’ve _just_ gotten Namjoon off his war path, so naturally they’d surface again now..”

Jimin’s laugh brings a grin to Hoseok’s grim face and he sits up again to look over the file the other’s slid onto his desk. To think, it was only a couple month ago that he was complaining about BAP's lack of activity.. it seemed they'd been listening, since this was their third notable case since then.

“It was some CEO’s penthouse. They snatched his prized art collection.. everything but the replicas. Sounds like a bad crime flick, really.” Jimin explained, quite lazily, mind you, but it was late and Jimin was cute and Hoseok was forgiving.

Pushing the file away again and leaning back into a comfortable position, Hoseok sighed and nodded toward their big wall of BAP’s greatest hits. Except it was _all_ their hits. At least all the ones they knew about. And some they suspected. And a couple unsolved cases that seemed like they might maybe sort of fit in somehow that Namjoon and Yoongi both had a hand in insisting be added to the wall.

“Well.. better add this to the board, Namjoon’s gonna want it for his little power point showcase.” 

Getting up from his perch at the edge of Hoseok’s desk, Jimin snatched the file back with a nod, heading over to the side of the room to start adding the newest case info to their collection.

Hoseok watched him work for a minute longer before letting out another long-suffering sigh and slumping forward to ring up their leader.

“Namjoonie~ Come on down. And bring Yoongi hyung with you, we've got a new hit.”


End file.
